Northampton Center for Couples Therapy

Ongoing Support to Reach Relationship Goals Knowledge At the heart of our work is the Gottman Relationship Assessment, a comprehensive tool that looks at all of the facets of your marriage, your struggles, and your strengths. With it we’ll create a customized roadmap that is catered to your relationship’s unique needs and circumstances, giving you the knowledge and insights necessary to find your way back to each other. Skills You’ll gain real-life tools and skills that you can begin using immediately. And with your new skills, your conversations and communication will become meaningful, even when discussing “tough stuff”. You’ll find that you agree more often, work together, and get on the same page about your goals much faster. Fun Relationships can’t be all work, there has to be an emphasis on positivity too, so while it may sound hard to believe, you’ll also spend some time on the fun stuff. Part of the reward of doing couples therapy is that once trust and connection are solid, yo...

  We sincerely hope you and yours are well as we continue to navigate this path together. As you likely know, NCCT has shifted our practice exclusively to online therapy for the time being. While many clients understandably wonder if online therapy (a.k.a. telehealth) is as effective as face-to-face therapy, it’s worth noting the anecdotal evidence from many of our own couples who have been doing productive and beneficial online work with us for several months and even years. In addition, if you like to geek out on research, this study gives props to the benefits and efficacy of telehealth. With this current adjustment in mind, we’re sending some tips on how to make the most of your encounter with online work. 5 Strategies to optimize your online experience: 1. If you have not yet done so, fill out NCCT’s online paperwork in advance to sidestep slowing down the therapy process. 2. Test your video and audio 5-15 minutes before the start of each session. *Your therapist will send ...

With great excitement and joy, I’m writing to announce that NCCT has officially landed in our new post-pandemic home in downtown Northampton. The space is beautiful, filled with natural light and high cathedral ceilings, comfy chairs, and soundproofing (for your privacy). There is ample off-street parking and accessibility, and we are within walking distance of fantastic restaurants and the Hotel Northampton (perfect for retreat clients). If you have been waiting to attend couples therapy and want to meet with a therapist in person (though we continue to offer online services), now is the time! This new space aligns with other important announcements, including the arrival of Erica Hinkley, MS, MFT , and the expansion of hours by JP Posnak, MA, LMHC , which means, for the first time in months, we have more openings. These slots will fill quickly, so please reach out to us to schedule your initial phone consultation , and we will be happy to connect you with a couples therapist (not...

  Couples therapists are trained to observe, understand and illuminate patterns of behavior, particularly ones that get us into trouble. Many of these patterns emerge when we attempt to regulate our nervous system (cope). Like Tolstoy’s famous quote regarding how unhappiness in families is unique to each family , we, as individuals, also function in uniquely unhappy ways to manage distress and conflict. My recent reading of Harriet Lerner’s The Dance of Anger reinforced this idea. A classic, Lerner’s book was first published in 1985, and she was one of the first to propose that we over-function and under-function in our relationships. In a marriage, for example, one partner might be the financial decision maker, the other the follower, or the house manager and inhabitant. As Brent Atkinson states in Developing Habits for Relationship Success, mismatches often exist in couples; they are not problematic. Awareness of these patterns gives us insights and tools to get unstuck, part...

  I remember sitting in an old classroom the first time I attended a men’s group. Over the years, I’ve been a part of men’s groups across the country, and each has had a different flavor. I was part of a support group in South Carolina after a breakup. It was an odd experience led by a gruff former Marine and utility worker who was strongly influenced by 12-step work but without clinical credentials. Progress seemed to rely on participants’ breakdowns. My other experiences in the men’s group contained more clinical oversight. Some included strong religious components, some focused on modern masculinity and the overall shifts in roles we might feel. None were as welcoming, intellectual, supportive, and sometimes lighthearted as my previous experience in New England. This particular group was a product of the men’s movement of the seventies, which aligned itself with feminism. We started each group with ground rules and meditation. We spoke about anonymity, non-violent language, non-...

  A private and open-ended men’s group devoted to the exploration and thoughtful discussion inspired by today’s leaders in relational wellness, happening Thursday 8 to 9:30 PM EST nights, online, March 2nd to April 20th. Who it’s for: This group is for men interested in gaining support and like-mindedness from those in similar circumstances. Does your partner complain that you are not communicative enough? Have you ever struggled with articulating emotions, depression, or feeling overall “numb”? Come join with fellow men going through similar life stages and relationship challenges. Men Helping Men is an open-ended group that includes exploration and thoughtful discussion inspired by leaders in relational wellness. Each meeting explores different facets of what makes relationships successful (and what makes them not) and how these concepts apply to our world, voice, and hearts. MHM will also discuss essential topics like: Vulnerability Intention Curiosity Varied forms of empathy Un...

Don’t just plan a beautiful wedding. Plan a beautiful life. 1-Day & 2-Day Intensives for Couples Considering Marriage Preparing for a wedding is a joyous time. There are bridal showers, cake testings and other important milestones. However, before you say “I Do,” consider the following points: Couples who participate in premarital counseling are 30 percent less likely to divorce within the first five years, according to the Journal of Family Psychology. Also, according to marriage expert John Gottman, marriage therapy can have extra benefits when done in a state of positivity. It is from this state that couples can build on fondness and admiration, two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. So, put those premarital “flutters” to good use, especially as you prepare for your vows and find yourself asking, whether consciously or unconsciously, questions such as: “Will my partner join me in my quest for adventure?” “Will I still be able to achieve my prof...

  John Gardner, MA, LMFT He/him “Going back to childhood, one of the things I’ve always thought was important was to be able to listen. If I can listen deeply enough to someone, I can get where they are, where they live, where they’re coming from. That alliance has always been the most important thing to me. If I don’t have that, I don’t have anything.” John’s manner is understated and self-effacing, but his sharp wit shines forth after a few minutes’ conversation. What may take longer to reveal is the breadth of his knowledge and the depth of his commitment to the people he works with. John is not just talk. In his own quiet, understated way, he puts his money where his mouth is and is a fierce advocate for the power of commitment. Combining over 30 years of experience helping families and couples. In his personal life, John and his wife have raised six children, four adopted, and fostered 50 children. He has personal insight into how to make unorthodox families work and feels a l...

  Should I stay, or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble. And if I stay, it will be double. The Clash lead vocalist Mick Jones sings these words in the iconic 1981 punk rock song, “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” It’s the epitome of relationship limbo hell where the pain of leaving is unfathomable. Yet, the thought of staying is even worse. Do you remain in a familiar hell, or do you run headlong into heartbreak ? Neither option sounds ideal. To help you decide, a therapist may ask you questions like: How much of your situation is caused by your partner? How much of your situation is caused by you? What about your situation, don’t you like? Would you find these challenges elsewhere? What do you like about your situation? Would you find these strengths elsewhere? How do you communicate your feelings? What reaction do you receive when you do? You may be asking yourself how to save your marriage . While saving your marriage (or not) is a decision you make together with your...

  Live outside the United States? No problem. Our licensed experts work with couples all over the world. If you’re an active duty service member, veteran, Foreign Service Officer, Peace Corps volunteer, teacher, or otherwise American expat living abroad and you’re seeking 100% secure virtual couples therapy from a licensed expert, you’ve come to the right place. Living overseas as an American comes with its own set of unique cultural and relationship challenges, including: Frequent transitions and moving Difficult quality of life Living far away from family and friends Stress about safety Isolation and loneliness Language differences Your couples therapist must be able to understand these challenges that come with navigating life abroad. In our online therapy for overseas couples, we take the time to get to know you and your partner, assess where you are getting stuck, and help you develop strategies to break down barriers and move forward. We will help you deepen your understandin...